


Peter Parker and the accidental Instagram

by mssnek



Series: The Avengers Media Adventures [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Minor Stucky, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, and ig Steve is part of the Greatest Generation?, bi! Peter Parker, but ig the Russos want me to die, contains irondad, dinnertime talk, huh, internet culture, internet jokes, its fine, meme references, minor Pepperony, peter is just THAT gen z, that SHOULDVE been in IW, the avengers and the internet, vine references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 00:34:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18083954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mssnek/pseuds/mssnek
Summary: Peter didn’t mean to go viral. Most people don’t. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy it while it lasted.





	1. Captain America Learns What Vine Is

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I wrote this instead of an essay that’s due Wednesday so yeehaw ! Enjoy !
> 
> also this is non-beta’d so if anyone wants to beta hmu

He was running. He couldn’t stop. His feet pounded the pavement. One two one two - why did he have to be so dumb - one two one two one two - why couldn’t he just hold it together for once - one two one two one two and he stopped. Or, more accurately, he was stopped. A man had stepped into his path and to avoid crashing into him, Peter hastily came to halt a few inches from the person in front of him. He looked up, an apology on his lips, when he saw who was standing in front of him. “-Captain America? Why- what- why are you here?” He finally settled on, and took a step back, coming to a more comfortable distance and crossing his arms.   
“Tony sent me. He said you ran out of his lab? I don’t really know why he sent me, but he seemed pretty insistent.”  
Peter scrubbed a hand over his face. Of course it was Mr. Starks fault. Couldn’t he leave well enough alone? Immediately after thinking this Peter regretted it. He knew Mr. Stark has only his best interests at heart but this wasn’t his business and he should’ve stayed out of it. “I’m fine, Mr. Rogers, I promise. I just have a lot going on right now and-“  
“Yeah, Tony mentioned you seemed a little stressed. I think he sent me to ask if you wanted to box a bit, to let off some steam. You know, since we’re matched in strength.”  
Peter blinked. That actually wasn’t...a bad idea. It might help to just punch some shit for a while. Could even be therapeutic. “Okay, that’d actually be great Mr. Rogers. I just gotta, um,” he looked down at his sweaty, dirty lab clothes and gave Steve a sheepish smile, “yeet myself into some clean clothes and then I’ll be ready to box, how’s that?”  
But Steve’s attention had been lost a few sentences back. His brow was furrowed and he seemed confused. “Yeet?” He said slowly, “what is yeet? Is that a new verb?”  
Peter stifled a laugh and was about to explain it away with a don’t worry about it when he realized what a golden opportunity this was. An opportunity any teenager would treasure: introducing Captain America to the internet. “Well Mr. Rogers,” he began with a grin that was too big to be considered sly, “yeet is a verb! It’s fairly new, and it’s from the internet.”  
Steve’s confuses look deepened. “The internet is inventing verbs now?”  
“Well...sort of. It’s kind of complicated. It’s from this thing called vine, but then vine died, but it still made it’s way onto Instagram, Reddit, iFunny, Tumblr, yadda yadda.”  
“I’m gonna be honest with you here kid,” Steve put his hand on Peter’s shoulder and stared him in the eyes, “I have no idea what any of that means in the slightest.”   
“Don’t worry!” Peter said in a bright voice, his earlier worries forgotten with the chance to teach the world's oldest young man about the wonders of the internet, “I can teach you everything you need to know!”   
Steve was conflicted. On one hand this whole internet thing just seemed unnecessarily confusing. But on the other, he’d distracted Peter, which was the main job Tony had given him when he’d sent Steve out after the runaway spider. He gave the beaming child a tentative smile. “I guess we could do that instead of box, then?”   
“Works for me!” Peter shouted over his shoulder as he bounded back to the tower. With a start Steve realized Peter wasn’t slowing down anytime soon. He sighed and took off after the crazy kid. 

Later that night at the tower Steve, Tony, Pepper, Peter, Bucky, Wanda, and Sam were all rushing around the kitchen, trying to get dinner on the table. Well, more specifically, Steve was rushing, Bucky was appreciating the view of a sweaty Steve who kept bending over, Tony and Pepper were having a quiet conversation at the table, Sam was throwing cheese puffs at Wanda, Wanda was catching cheese puffs with her powers and throwing them back at Sam, and Peter? Well, Peter was lying down. On the ceiling because, when asked by Tony he responded: “The floor is boring and it’s not gay enough to lie down on the floor.”   
“Sorry, what? Did you just come out while lying on the ceiling?” Tony put his head in his hands in exasperation. “You try my nerves, underoos,” came the muffled complaint from through his arms.   
Pepper sympathetically patted his back, and then said to Peter, “He supports you no matter what, I think he’s just upset about his ceiling at this point.”   
“Of course I support you!” Tony sat up and looked pointedly at the scuff marks Peter had left on the ceiling. “I just don’t support your shoes on my ceiling.”   
“Fine, fine. And also,” Peter started to say as he descended from the ceiling using his webs and swiping a cheese puff in the air from Sam to the tune of some light swearing, “I’m bi. Gay is just more umbrella which is why I used it.”   
Tony flapped his hands in Peter’s direction. “Yeah yeah all this means is that I’ve gotta update my sex talk to include both sides of it now. No biggie.”   
Sam and Wanda cracked up and Pepper stifled a laugh as Peter looked at Tony, horrified. “What can I say, kid? I’m a very prepared mentor.”  
Peter was about to respond when Steve yelled, very loudly and suddenly, “Dinner!” This was followed by a quieter, but still loud in the relative silence of the room, “Bucky, not right now, we’re about to eat. Now get your hands off my ass and go help set the table!”   
Peter laughed at that, setting off Wanda, Sam, and Tony. Pepper just shook her head with a smirk, but chuckled quietly to herself.   
As the group sat themselves down around the table, there was a peaceful quiet, punctuated only by the noises of forks clinking against plates and people asking for different dishes to be passed. Once Steve had finished his first helping, he looked up and said casually “Peter and I looked at the internet today.”   
“You what??” Asked Sam, holding back a laugh.  
“We looked at the internet! Mr. Rogers and I had a great time. It was very fun,” Peter said, bouncing in his seat, just a little, “and now Mr. Rogers knows more internet culture.”   
Tony scoffed and looked up at Peter as he reached across the table to grab the basket of rolls. “And this is a good thing how?” He asked, placing a roll on his plate and then retracting his hand, not realizing how close it was getting to Steve’s plate that still contained Steve’s dinner roll. “You think this is going to end well?” He said, right as he bumped Steve’s plate right off the table. Tony noticed, a moment too late, and his eyes widened and reached out and grabbed empty air.   
Luckily, Steve and his lightning fast reflexes were able to grab the plate, right before it hit the ground. Tony winced and was about to apologize when Steve looked him dead in the eyes and went “Stop. I coulda dropped my croissant!”   
Everyone at the table burst out laughing, except Tony, who only huffed loudly, and excused himself with a muttered “I said it would end badly, didn’t I? Well look who was right. That’s right. Me. I was.”   
Steve patted Peter on the back and said “That was funny. I still don’t entirely understand what was going on, but that was very funny.”  
Peter nodded, not able to do anything else for the fact that he was crying with laughter and glee. He had videoed the whole thing. Now all he needed was a place to put it...


	2. I swear I didn’t mean to get famous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter creates an instagram page for his secret avengers videos and things begin to spiral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again at it with the writing instead of studying!! This time it’s math that I’m procrastinating though, so at least I’m switching up my procrastination types lmao
> 
> Once again shout out my wonderful cheerleader megs who always pumps my stories up even though she doesn’t watch marvel and therefore has no context to what the hell all of this is about!
> 
> also this is non-beta’d so all mistakes are my own and if anyone wants to beta hmu on tumblr @ms-snek

Hmmm…@funnyavengers? No, that was taken. Peter huffed a frustrated breath and turned over on his bed, holding his phone in the air above him. @avengers_are_funny? No, that was taken too. He groaned, propping his feet absently on the wall and tapping out a rhythm.

“Quit that!” May shouted from the other room. “I’m making dinner, the least you can do is not bring down the walls of the apartment, yeah?” A laugh followed the comment, along with the sound of the fire alarm and then some muffled cursing. Peter stifled a laugh and rolled his eyes. May was always burning things in the kitchen, but she wouldn’t give up trying. She held out hope for the “perfect dish” as she called it, that wouldn’t burn under her control. Peter had many doubts about the existence of such a dish, but kept it to himself and tried to keep as straight a face as he could while eating whatever concoction May had whipped up that night.

Looking back at his phone, he saw the still blank username field and sighed. He got off his bed and began pacing, making his way to the ceiling and sitting down in the center. What could he use...what was there to use...it had to be catchy...aha! Smiling, he typed @avengerfails. It wasn’t taken! He released a breath. Now it was time to fill out the rest of the account. He left the name blank, he’d deal with that later. He changed it to a business profile and set it as Band, and then put “of fools” in the bio. Hm. It needed...something else. He searched through his camera roll before finding the perfect [photo](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/83/cb/cd/83cbcd13b89a326e727d4276299e53ac--excuse-me-marvel-heroes.jpg). He chuckled, set it as the profile picture, and closed out the Instagram app. He opened his messages. Me: Ned

Me: Ned

Me: Ned guess what

Me: Ned answer me

Ned: what is it dude

Me: I made an avengers fails account on insta

Ned: what???

Me: I’m gonna post funny pics and vids of them

Me: gonna be so good

Ned: that’s so funny!!!! Dude you’re gonna blow up

Ned: what if they find out???

Me: they’re not gonna find out. It’s just a little account nobody’s gonna see it

“Dinner!” Shouted May from the kitchen. Peter sniffed and scrunched up his nose at the burnt smell floating through the apartment.

“Okay May in a sec!” He looked back at his screen.

Ned: alright dude good luck with that. I’ve got a feeling that it will end up on someone’s radar, but let me know how it goes.

Me: okay will do

Me: gtg May made dinner :/ pray for me

Ned: you have all my prayers

Peter laughed and was about to toss his phone down to his bed when he paused. Hm...maybe he should post his first photo now? And then he could check and see if anything had happened by the time he was done with dinner. He nodded to himself, his mind made up.

Peter reopened Instagram and selected the video he’d taken of Steve referencing the vine a few days ago. It ended with Tony’s reaction and the groups’ laughter. Peter paused on the caption, deliberating over what to put. “What about ‘turns out vine isn’t dead, it was just frozen with Captain America’?” He shifted on the ceiling, thinking it over.

“Peter? Where are you, I called dinner five minutes ago! Get in here before it gets cold!”

“Coming May, sorry!” He shouted back, and then, without a second thought, he clicked post and watched as his first video uploaded to the great big internet. He dropped his phone to his bed and fell to the ground with a soft thud, landing on the carpet in a crouched pose. He stood up and padded into the kitchen where something that once resembled chicken noodle soup sat at his place. “How did you burn soup?” He asked inquisitively as he slipped into his seat. She shot him a joking glare and he held up his hands defensively. “It’s a valid question!”

She laughed and shook her head. “I guess I’m just special then, huh?”

“Maybe you should go on Worst Cooks of America?” Peter laughed when May flicked a burnt noodle at him. “That only proves my point!”

“Fine, fine. I’m an awful cook. But you’ll just have to deal with it tonight because I don’t have time to get something else before my next shift.” She reached over and patted his hand when he immediately looked regretful. “It’s okay Peter, don’t feel bad for making fun of my skills. I know I’m awful.” she laughed and he cracked a smile in response.

“I can go run out and grab something May, if you want something to eat besides,” he looked down wryly, “burnt chicken noodle soup before your night shift.” She glanced at the clock and got up, speaking as she gathered her purse and jacket. “I’m okay Peter, really. Why don’t you go grab something from Delmar’s, yeah? Maybe have Ned over, work on that LEGO thing you were building? It’s a Friday night, you shouldn’t be stuck in the apartment.”

Indignant, Peter looked up at her. “I’m not stuck! But yeah. I might take you up on that offer of Mr. Delmar and Ned.”

She laughed, ruffled his hair, and stepped out the door to go to her shift. “Bye Pete! Love you! See you tomorrow!”

“Bye May! Be safe! Have a good shift! Tell Amy and Natalie I say hi!” May’s coworkers loved him, and he always tries to say hi whenever he stops by the hospital.

“I will!” She called as she shut the door behind her. Once she’d left, Peter texted Ned to come over and then cleaned up the mess of burnt noodles left behind and stuck in the pot. He sang along to the radio as he scrubbed, making his voice go as high and low as he could for the different parts that came on. Once he was done cleaning, he began to just sing.

He was then struck with a brilliant idea. He raced to his room and put his spidey suit on and then continued to bop his way around the room, drumming his hands on different chairs to create his own one man band. He began to get really into it, making up his own little routines that took him all over the apartment, including onto the ceiling. “And one and two and swish and turn and-“ the turn had taken him further than he’d expected and he slammed into the wall. “Ouch,” he groaned, rubbing his head. He turned around, still holding his head in his hands and came face to face with a hysterical Ned holding a phone up in the air. “Ahh!” Peter yelped, jumping so far up into the air he stuck onto the ceiling, serving only make Ned laugh even harder.

“You should,” he said, gasping for breath as tears of hilarity ran down his cheeks, “You should see you face right now dude. This is the funniest fucking thing man.” He clicked a button on his phone and brought it down so he could look at the screen, where the video of Peter, or rather, of Spider-Man singing and dancing and then jumping on the ceiling played in a loop. “I think,” Ned said with a grin, “you’ve got your second post right here.” Peter groaned audibly and tried to protest, but Ned wasn’t having it. “No buts!” He said, walking through the kitchen and to Peter’s room, Peter following behind him while making halfhearted protests, “this shit is funny as hell and will land you hella views.”

Peter grumbled, but he knew Ned was right. And besides, the video wasn’t that bad, and you couldn’t see his face anyway, so it didn’t really matter. He slumped over to his bed and check his phone, opening Instagram. “Hey dude this is so cool,” he said, showing Ned the account. It now had 54 followers and and multiple comments on the video saying that they hadn’t seen this video before and this was really funny and how the hell did the account owner get this shit anyway? Peter laughed at that one.

He and Ned messed around with the account settings for bit and followed a couple of funny avengers accounts before getting bored and moving onto the massive LEGO set currently occupying about a quarter of Peter’s room. They built some more of it before both boys declared themselves exhausted and decided to go to bed.

The next morning Peter woke up to the smell of coffee and the sound of some talk show host May was fond of. He rubbed his eyes and yawned and stretched before crawling out of bed, careful not to wake Ned in the bunk below his. He grabbed his phone from his desk as he walked out of his room and into the kitchen, checking his twitter and Instagram (both @thebstandsforbworst, something he found no end in hilarity over), before saying good morning to May and popping some toast in the toaster oven for both him and Ned.

Though Ned might’ve been asleep at that moment, Peter knew he’d wake up soon and be ravenous as soon as he was awake. “Alright kid,” May said, getting up from the table and placing her empty mug in the sink. “I’ve gotta go run some errands. I’ll be back in a couple hours. Be good. Have a fun Saturday. Tell Ned I say hi.” Peter nodded distractedly, still scrolling through his phone. May shook her head and smiled, ruffling Peter’s hair as she grabbed her purse and headed out the door.

“Bye!” Peter shouted behind her, wrenching his gaze from his phone for the first time all morning. As he looked down at it again, he saw he had a new Instagram notification: someone had liked his video. That’s weird, he thought as he opened the app, I haven’t posted in a while. Then it hit him. It wasn’t his account that had the notification. It was his avengers account. Smiling and shaking his head, he switched accounts and looked at his follower count. His jaw dropped. What. The fuck? How had his follower number jumped from 54 to 32 thousand overnight??? Overwhelmed, he checked the view count on the video. A hundred thousand views???? He was so shocked he almost dropped his phone.

At that moment, Ned walked into the kitchen. Not realizing the fact that his best friend’s brain was currently melting, he began to go about breakfast business as usual. “Morning Peter. Did you burn the toast? Dude, you’re taking after May more than I thought,” he chuckled, slowly becoming aware of the shocked aura that hung around Peter like a cloud. “Uh, dude?” He said, poking him on the shoulder. At the touch, Peter seemed to startle into awareness.

“Look!!” He said, his voice exploding outwards as he gestured wildly at Ned with his phone. “32 thousand followers!!! 100 thousand views!!!”

Ned’s brain took a moment to process the information he was being handed. “Wait, what?” He said, and grabbed Peter’s phone out of his hand, leaving the other boy to continue his gestures. Ned looked at the screen, taking in the numbers. “It must have ended up on the explore page,” he decided, shaking his head in surprise and admiration. “That’s the only way it could’ve blown up so quickly.”

Peter began to calm down and grabbed his phone back from Ned. His hand was still shaking though, and the look in his eyes was crazed enough that Ned felt comfortable guiding him to the table and forcing him to sit down and eat a piece of (burnt) toast. After the toast, Peter was more able to focus. “Yeah man, you gotta be right. It has to be the explore page,” he said, agreeing with Ned, before adding “I sure hope the avengers don’t see it.”

“Dude, it’s still tiny, don’t worry about it,” scoffed Ned, “let’s focus on our next move instead.”

“Next move?”

“Yeah, like what are you gonna post next?”

Peter bit his lip. “Um, I don’t know,” he said, looking questioningly at Ned. “Please tell me you have some ideas.”

Ned grinned. “Everyone loves Spider-Man, right? How about a dancing Spider-Man to see if we can make anyone’s days brighter?”

“Dude,” Peter groaned, but he had to admit it was a good idea, and probably his best option if he didn’t want to end up on the avengers radar too soon. “Fine, as long as you can’t really tell it’s my place in the video,” he said, which Ned shook his head to, affirming the location was not discernible, so Peter handed the phone to Ned. “Do your magic.”

Ned grabbed it and typed up a quick caption. “How’s ‘no dance like a spidey dance and no scare like a spidey scare’?” 

“Sure, sure man, whatever you think would be best.” Peter’s voice came from between his arms, where his head now rested on top of the table, his empty plate shoved to the side.

“Awesome,” Ned said, and posted the video.

 

 

“Sir?” Jarvis’ voice woke Tony from where he lay draped over his workbench. “Sorry to disturb you, but there is a video I think you might want to see.”

“Oh?” Tony said, and rubbed his eyes blearily. “What’s it about?”

“It concerns a certain young spiderling…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y’all enjoyed! Come find me on tumblr @ms-snek if you have any prompts for me and leave a kudos/comment if you enjoyed, it really brightens my day to hear from y’all!


	3. get Shook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter really can’t keep his mouth shut, can he

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad for not posting more but APUSH has been killing me and getting my sat score back made me wanna cry so I’m sorry if you’re upset I hadn’t posted recently

“The one thing you NEVER want to do in literature is yadda yadda blah blah blah…”  
That wasn’t really what Peter’s lit teacher was saying, but that was what his tired, sleep-wanting brain was giving to him at the moment, so he was stuck working with it. He thumped his head onto his desk softly and saw Ned give him a bemused look. The previous weekend, after his Avengers fan account had blown up, Peter decided to give the social media a rest to see if the numbers might start dropping, ya know, to help him out there a little bit. But when one has Parker Luck, one becomes used to fun things quickly turning shitty.  
Now, his account had 11 million followers and climbing, all thanks to the Captain America video and the Spiderman video he had posted. He’d filled in the name with “neato peeto cheeto” because he thought he was funny and Ned had been so annoyed he’d ended up keeping it out of obligation. Obligation to annoy his friend, anyway.  
As he and Ned left their lit room after what had been the most boring period of time ever on Earth, they made their way to the quad to have lunch. Peter sat down at their usual table and dug in immediately, only slowing down when he realized Ned was still standing. “Ned? What’s up, dude?”  
Ned began to pace, tugging one hand through his hair as he did so. “Peter, your head might’ve gone on a vacation recently, but mine hasn’t. Didn’t you hear about what they were saying about you in the hallways?”  
“Mmph?” asked Peter, his mouth full of sandwich.  
“Well, not you per se, but the fan account. The page has totally blown up dude! Everyone wants to know where the videos are even from.”  
“Mmmph hm,” Peter finally swallowed what was left of his sandwich. “So? No one knows it’s me. How’s that my problem?” He ignored the twisty feeling in his stomach that was telling him that everyone would know soon if the Avengers found out. Which they were likely to do, considering how quickly the account was gaining followers. At this point, they’d almost surpassed Hawkeye in follower count. Peter felt bad, but he knew Clint didn’t really care about Instagram. In fact, now that he thought about it, Clint probably didn’t know he had an Instagram. If Peter had to guess, based off stories he’d heard about her, he thought it might’ve been run by Clint’s daughter Lila.  
“Peter! Focus!” With the help of Ned’s glare, Peter snapped back to reality.  
“Ugh. Okay. So. This isn’t a huuuge deal, right? Like it’s not too bad. We just gotta. Um. Delete the account?” He looked sadly down at his sandwich. Peter didn’t really want to delete the account but he also didn’t want the avengers to find it.  
“No, no,” Ned shook his head. “The account is really cool, and you probably don’t want to delete it, right?”  
“Well, not really…but I will if you think it’s necessary.”  
“Nah dude. It should be okay. I just don’t want you to get in trouble with your little friends,” he looked around, lowering his voice even though there was no one near them anyway, “the avengers!!!”  
Peter laughed at the excitement still evident on Ned’s face, even though he’d met most of the avengers at this point. “C’mon dude, lunch is almost over. Let’s get to chem.” Peter stood up and turned to walk with Ned to the science building, when he bumped into someone standing in front of him on the path. “Sorry!” He lept back, before registering who he’d bumped into with a sigh. Flash. Of course.  
“Hey Penis.” Flash grinned at him before grabbing his phone out of his pocket. “Remember when you lied to the whole school?”  
Peter felt a hot flush creeping up the back of his neck, but he covered his embarrassment with a short laugh. “Nope, I don’t recall. Sorry Flash.”  
He pushed past Flash to get to Ned so they could get to class. “You don’t recall the time when you told everyone you were Tony Stark’s intern? Huh. Seems like the type of lie someone would remember.” Peter bit back an irritated groan before turning around to face a smirking Flash on the path.  
“I do recall the time when I told everyone the truth about my internship, if that’s what you’re asking.”  
This only made Flash’s grin bigger, and Peter begin to get a sinking feeling in his stomach. “Oh? Huh. That’s funny, because Tony Stark just tweeted, and I quote ‘love my intern, even if he makes some interesting decisions’ with a link to the @avengerfails insta page that’s been blowing up. And if I know anything, it’s that you couldn’t make a page go viral for shit, so that’s definitely not you.”  
Peter’s eyes widened. Tony knew about the page?? He shared a panicked look with Ned, who looked like he was having his own aneurysm at the moment. Flash took this glance as confirmation of his statement. “Ha!! I knew it!” He gloated, turning to the rest of the quad, most of which had stopped to watch the altercation as it got increasingly louder. “Penis Parker has been lying about the internship the whole time!”  
“I’m not lying!” Peter blurted, as Ned’s panicked eyes turned toward him. He felt himself say the next sentence in slow motion: “I’ll prove it.”  
Flash snorted, still in disbelief. “Oh yeah Parker? How are you gonna do that?”  
Peter took out his phone and opened Instagram to the @avengersfails. With the eyes of his fellow high school compatriots upon him, he edited the bio. Then, he looked up and met Flash’s eyes with a defiant glare. “There,” he said, loudly enough that the whole courtyard, now silent, could hear him clearly. “Look and see.”  
Every person in the courtyard looked at either their phone or someone else’s and then a murmuring filled the quad.  
“Shit, man, he’s actually an intern??”  
“Hooooly fuck.”  
“Yo, Tony Stark is following @avengersfails.”  
But throughout all this, Peter kept his eyes on Flash. He wanted to see the moment when Flash realized Peter hadn’t been lying. At first Flash looked confused, then angry, but then his face settled on something neutral and he looked up at Peter. “So,” he said, “I guess you weren’t lying then.”  
“No. I guess not,” Peter responded.  
Flash looked as though he was searching for something to respond with, his brows crinkling as he fought to contain his emotions. Abruptly, he turned on his heel and walked away.  
Peter sighed, and sagged down a little bit. Ned look at him questioningly. “Dude, what did you do?”  
Wordlessly, Peter handed Ned his phone. 

@avengersfails  
Peter P  
Band  
of fools  
This account is run by @thebstandsforbworst, Tony Stark’s official intern 

Ned looked up at Peter. “You’re in for it. You just exposed yourself dude!!”  
“I know! I know. I didn’t know what else to do.” Peter shrugged helplessly. The two boys began to make their way to class again.  
“Look man, all I can say is I hope the rest of the avengers don’t find this.”  
“With Parker luck dude, that’s for sure not gonna happen, but thanks for the well wishes.”

———————————

“Sir.”  
“Jarvis.”  
“It’s important.”  
“How important.”  
“Peter important.”  
Tony looked up from his work and dragged a hand over his face. That kid. He thought his tweet might’ve discouraged anymore activity but apparently not. “What is it now, Jarvis?”  
“It seems as though Peter has linked himself to his avengers account.”  
“What?!?”  
“He has put ‘This account is run by @thebstandsforbworst, Tony Stark’s official intern’ in the bio.”  
“Tony Stark’s official intern, huh? Well, if official is what the boy wants, official is what he shall get.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway hope y’all like it lmk your thots or whatever on tumblr @ms-snek


	4. a surprise visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's version of going official is exactly what one thinks it will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back at it again with absolutely no rhyme or reason to my posting schedule ! But on another note, I do know for sure that this is gonna be the 2nd to last chapter of this fic and ive pretty much planned out how I want the last chapter to go, so hopefully that will be up soon. I think there will be a couple more works in this series but idk yet whether im gonna have them all take place in the same universe, so stay tuned!
> 
> s/o to megs for continuing to support my fics ! I promise ill write u that fic about goose soon 
> 
> onward!!!

Ned: check the account   
Ned: check it  
Ned: OH MY GOD CHECK YOUR PERSONAL DJGKHLSKHRKSJ  
Me: what??? Ned its four am   
Ned: oh  
Ned: sorry  
Ned: check it anyway   
Me: nah man don’t feel bad I was awake anyway   
Ned: pete   
Ned: why were u awake?  
Me: patrolling u kno how it be   
Ned: …  
Ned: I thought may and mr stark gave u a curfew   
Me: I mean   
Me: it only counts if may is awake to enforce it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯   
Ned: no im   
Ned: im pretty sure it doesn’t work like that   
Me: whatever   
Me: what did u text me for again?  
Me: oh right the account   
Ned: go!!! Check it now!!!!!  
Me: fine! Im going jeezus  
Ned: thats not how u spell Jesus   
Me: well I was too lazy to spell Jesus   
Me: but I didn’t wanna just do jeez once I’d typed it   
Me: and then I was too lazy to start over   
Ned: jfc just go check the account!!!!!!!  
Me: okay!!  
Peter clicked out of messages from where he lay back on his bed, his feet sticking to the ceiling. “Instagram, Instagram, what could it be now?” He muttered to himself, not seeming to realize how insane he sounded. “With Parker Luck, Mr. Stark’s prolly made all the avengers follow me.”   
He snorted derisively, then took a deep breath and opened Instagram to the @avengersfails page. Peter blinked once, then twice, then rubbed at his tired eyes praying for a sleep deprivation caused hallucination. “This can’t…be happening...what the fuck...how…” he said down to the illuminated screen in his palm. It didn’t respond. Instead, it simply stared back up at him, the new verified check mark practically smirking at him from its place next to his name. He was verified???  
He paled, remembering that Ned had also told him to check his personal. Holding his breath, he switched accounts, opening up the app to @thebstandsforbworst. “Oh my fucking god.”

-

“Sir.”  
“Jarvis?”  
“Peter is calling. Shall I put him through?”   
Tony cracked a smile and pushed back from his desk, spinning his chair around a few times. Pepper wouldn’t mind him making the paperwork wait too much, right? Besides, this was more important. “I think that would be great, Jarvis. Go ahead.”   
“Mr. Stark.”  
“Kid! What’s up? How’s school?”  
“What the fuck.”  
Tony slapped a hand over his mouth in mock outrage. “Peter! You don’t wanna let Captain Righteous hear you talking that way, do you?”  
“I don’t care. You got me verified!”  
“What makes you think I did any such thing?” Tony said, adopting an offended tone.  
A sigh came through phone. “I called Instagram support. They said Tony Stark requested verification for both @avengersfails and @thebstandsforbworst. So. Yeah. That was you, unless you know of another Tony Stark, cause I don’t.”   
Tony dropped the tone. “Look kid, you were posting that type of shit. Are you really that surprised I found it? And honestly, I’ve been wanting to verify your personal for a while, this just gave the perfect excuse. Just try and see how you can use this! It could be fun!”  
Peter’s reluctant tone filtered over the line. “I guess…”  
“There! That’s the spirit,” Tony said while spinning happily in his chair. “Look, to make it up to you, how about I invite Shuri over this weekend? That could be fun, yeah?”  
Tony heard a shout through the phone, followed by some excited gibberish. “Thanks Mr. Stark!! But don’t think I’ve already forgotten about this.”   
“Don’t worry kid. I know you’re very professional with grudges. Don’t forget to tell May you’ll be here this weekend and make sure to pack pajamas this time!”  
“Okay Mr. Stark!” The line went dead and Tony continued to spin in his chair.   
“This weekend will be...interesting.” he mused to himself.

-

The livestream opened to a visual of Peter’s face. He wore a blanket draped over him like a cloak and seemed to be inside a dark kitchen. “What’s up gamers? Today I am here in the Avengers tower with my very best mentor, none other than Tony Stark himself!!” He panned the camera over to Tony’s tired face. Tony looked up at the camera, and then over at Peter.  
“Pete, it’s three am. Why are you videoing now?” The question seemed tired, almost as though Tony had had to ask it on other occasions.   
“Mr. Stark, I’m not only videoing, I’m livestreaming!! All,” Peter squinted at the phone before his eyes widened comically, “Holy cow, all two million of the people watching can see what’s going on right now in real time!!”  
Tony’s head was now buried in his arms where they rested on the countertop. “Pete, I know how livestreaming works.”  
“Right, of course. Anyway,” Peter continued with a bright smile, “today my friend Shuri is getting here and we are gonna have the best time ever!! We’re gonna build a bunch of stuff and it’s gonna be a great time and just the best!!”  
“You already said it was gonna be the best.” came the muffled voice from Tony’s direction.   
“Whatever Mr. Stark, you don’t need to be such a negative Nelly. You’re just jealous that you can’t hang out with us because Pepper is making you go into your office.” With that, Peter stuck his tongue out at Tony while his mentor buried his head further into his arms and groaned loudly.  
“I am not jealous, I am merely concerned about the condition my labs will be in when I return,” he responded dryly. “Hopefully they won’t be entirely exploded, but I am often told that I am too optimistic as a person.”  
Peter turned the camera so that it was only facing him now. “Since Mr. Stark is in such a bad mood, I’ll talk to you guys instead!” He squinted at the screen, reading some of the comments left below. “Wow! You guys have a lot of questions! I think I might do a Q&A later because I could never answer all of these now!” Peter’s face slightly scrunched for a minute before he broke out into a huge grin. “Yes! That’s the best idea! Okay you guys, dm me on the @avengersfails account any questions that you have for me and Shuri and we’ll have a Q&A session when she gets here with the best questions! Okay, talk to you all later! Bye gamers!”

-

This time the video opened onto a set. Two chairs with a small end table in between sat in front of the camera. On the end table, a top hat sat upside down, and each chair contained one excitable teenager, both doing their best to act poised. The girl seemed to be succeeding much more than the boy at this feat. “Hey guys!” Peter shouted from his chair. “Today-”  
“Peter,” the girl interrupted, “first of all, you don’t need to shout. Second of all, you need to introduce me.”  
“Right, of course. So, guys, this is my friend Shuri, and today we are going to be doing the Q&A I talked about on my livestream this morning. We went through your questions and we’ve picked our favorites. The only catch is: I picked Shuri’s questions and she picked mine.” Peter reached into the top hat and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “Question one: Peter, how old are you? I can’t decide if you’re eight or 19.” Peter looked up at the camera, a mock offended expression on his face. “19? I am offended you would think me so old! Nah, but really, I’m 16.”  
“Okay, my turn!” Shuri reached into the hat and pulled another slip of paper out. “Question two: Shuri, are you Princess Shuri from Wakanda?” Shuri looked at Peter, brows raised. “Really, Peter? That’s pretty easy to find out.” She turned back to the camera. “Yes, I am Princess Shuri of Wakanda. Peter, your turn.”  
Peter turned to the top hat. “Question three: Dude,” he read out, “you’re like the literal loml for starting this account. What are you gonna post next? Good question!” Peter said, turning to the camera, “I think it’ll probably be some more stuff about the vine. Not sure yet though, so keep your eyes peeled!”   
Peter and Shuri finished answering a few other questions in a similar manner before they became bored of being stuck on the set they had created and decided to wrap up the video. “This is it for today folks, but hopefully we’ll see you back here soon!” Peter leaned forward and ended the recording. “Whew,” he sat back in his chair and turned to Shuri. “What do you think?”  
She smiled and grabbed his phone from where they’d propped it up to film. “I think we should post this. It’s gonna be so good!” She started tapping through Instagram, trying to figure out a caption. “How about ‘it’s Q&A time folks! tune in for the hottest interview since the one where Tony Stark said he goes to the bathroom in his suit!’”   
Peter laughed at that and shook his head. “Sure, go ahead. That’s pretty good.”  
With a smile, Shuri posted the video.

-

“Sir, the children posted a video.”  
“Jarvis, why does that concern me.”  
“You’re mentioned in the caption, sir.”  
Tony shook his head and smiled. “Yeah? What did those little shits say?”  
“I believe the caption they used was ‘it’s Q&A time folks! tune in for the hottest interview since the one where Tony Stark said he goes to the bathroom in his suit!’”  
Tony barked a short laugh and turned back to the suit he was currently working on. “Jarvis, go ahead and comment on that post, please. How about ‘I’ll give you that, kid.’”  
There’s a pause and then a dry tone comes down from the ceiling: “It’s been done, sir.”

The comment gets 11,000 likes in one hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!


	5. and a vine reference to finish the job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oops, I yeeted again (to the tune of oops I did it again by Britney, bitch)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. its been a while. i had my apush exam and wrote two essays and aged by a year and was very busy and im sorry :/ but ! I hope you enjoy this one! 
> 
> forever shout out to megs for being a hype beast till the end!
> 
> enjoy!

It’s always when he’s busy, Peter mused as he swung through the streets of Queens, heading directly toward midtown Manhattan. He had been rescuing a cat from a very tall tree when he first got the alert. It was simply three short beeps: an invasion, but not a super serious one. However, Peter took every alert as seriously as he could. He desperately wanted for Tony to tell him that he could be an official avenger now, and that sure as hell couldn’t happen if he didn’t seem anything less than 100% committed to this whole teamwork thing. He had to show Tony that he could do it, prove that he was just as capable, that he wasn’t just a kid to be bossed around. He swerved to avoid a pigeon and snapped back into focus. He could think about his failure to get the avengers to take him seriously later, right now he had to pay attention to his surroundings. He seemed to be nearing what must be the center of the battle. Gritting his teeth, he pulled up short and rested on the side of an office building, catching his breath for a moment. “Karen?”

“Yes Peter?”

“What exactly,” he squinted into the melee, confusion clouding his features, “is going the hell on?”

“It seems as though there is an attack, Peter.”

“Yeah, I can see that Karen. What I don’t understand is why the whole team is not able to take what looks like maybe 20 baddies out.” Peter looked down into the mess the fight had turned into. Somehow, an alarm that was supposed to be for a not-so-serious battle had turned into something bigger. It seemed almost as though the bad guys were...winning? He squinted, but couldn’t quite make out who was down there. “Karen, who’s fighting right now?”

“Currently Boss, Spangle-Ass, Annoying Birdman, Cool Birdman, Black Widow, Thunderstruck, and Angry Energy Drink are fighting against a group of hostiles.”

Peter rolled his eyes. Of course Tony had programmed his suit with the weirdest nicknames for the world’s best group of crime fighting heroes. “Can you patch me into their comms please?”

There was a small pause, then a short beep, and then- 

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck what the fuck is going on you guys!!!??!?!” Tony’s panicked voice came through the comms first. Peter watched as the Iron Man suit deflected a couple different colored laser blasts from the armed bad guys before Tony zoomed over to a figure all in black - Natasha, Peter realized - lying prone on the ground “Holy fucking hell - Nat! - Nat’s frozen they froze her fucking fuck-”

“Tony, Tony, calm down it’s okay, their weapons will probably stop working soon!” Steve’s ever-infuriating slow tone came over the comm next, his words doing nothing to placate Tony as he strode toward where Tony stood over Nat, deflecting more laser blasts with his shield on the way. 

Tony picked up Nat and moved her over to four other bodies lying behind the shelter of an overturned taxi cab. At this point, Peter began to swing down to the street below. He wanted to help, needed to help, especially if those bodies were who he thought. “Rogers. Rogers. I know you were born in the stone age but do you really have no idea at all about how technology works? It doesn’t just ‘stop’ for no goddam reason.” 

Steve and Tony moved away from the bodies at this point, continuing to bicker and deflect lasers at the same time. “Well of course it wouldn’t stop for no reason! I’m saying, maybe, if we, I dunno, freeze their weapons, the weapons will stop working,” Cap said, drawing in a breath as Peter watched him palm slam a hostile right in the face. “And Tony? Watch your goddam language, the kid is here.” With that, Steve smirked up at where Peter was coming down to meet them from and strode away to go kick some more ass down the street. 

Startled by Steve’s quip, Tony looked up, saw Peter, and then swore till he was red in the face. Feeling chastised, Peter cautiously rappelled down the building and walked up to where Tony was still standing. “Mr. Stark? It’s just, I got an alert,” he began to ramble, “and I figured, why would I get alert if I wasn’t supposed to get one? Karen is smart. She knows what she’s doing. She wouldn’t send me an alert that isn’t for me. Nope. Not Karen. She would only send me an alert that’s for me. That’s it. Which means that I figured that the alert was for me and I just-” 

“Kid.”

Peter nervously looked up from where his gaze had fallen to the ground throughout his 20 second spiel. Tony’s eyes were closed, but - Peter looked closer - it didn’t seem like the action had been made from irritation, more from a combination of amusement and exhaustion. Slowly, he felt tension drain out of his body, slumping down a little but. Okay, this was good. Tony wasn’t mad at him. He opened his mouth to talk more but Tony held his hand up in a stop motion, almost as though he’d anticipated the action.

“Nope. I don’t wanna hear it right now.”

Crestfallen, Peter’s shoulders hunched and he nodded and began to turn away. He knew that even if Tony wasn’t upset, he still wanted him to go home. He could tell. Peter felt that he was very good at judging exactly how people felt before they even opened their mouths. Which could sometimes turn out to be a problem when he was completely, wildly incorrect.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, turning him around and in the direction of Tony. “C’mon kid. I don’t wanna hear it right now because the only thing you should be doing is fighting those baddies, not having a chat about the ethics of me involving a child in this circus.”

Peter’s brow furrowed. “But we weren’t having a chat about the ethics of you involving a child in this circus-”

“Oh ho ho but we will be later. Look, just go. Go fight, go be a hero! We’ll talk more later, okay kid?”

“Okay,” Peter said and before he could think twice about it, clasped Tony into a hug. For a moment Tony seemed surprised, but then he seemed to realize what was happening and pulled Peter in tighter.

“So are we there yet?” Peter asked cheekily as they drew back from the hug.

There? Where? Tony looked bewildered before remembering and letting out a breath of surprised laughter. He reached over and ruffled Peter’s hair, laughing when the kid ducked out the way with a disgruntled “hey!”. “Yeah, we’re there. Now go save the world.” Tony looked around the dwindling battle around them. Huh. Looked like their tech really had stopped working. “Or at least save the people on this block from any more inconveniences.”

“Yeah, okay, I can do that!” Peter shouted as he backed away and switched into a run the closer he got to what was left as the battle. 

Tony shook his head and sighed. “Kids these days,” he muttered. “Whatcha gonna do?”

 

-

 

With a grunt Peter spun around and landed a roundhouse kick to one of the hostile’s chests. It fell back onto its side, breathing heavily. Leaning over the attacker, Peter delivered one more punch to knock it out for a while. He smiled to himself as he dusted his hands off. His training sessions with Natasha were working, he felt, if he had been able to pull off that kick the way he had. 

“Behind you Pe- er, Spiderman!” came a shout from his left. He shouted a thanks to whoever sent it (was that Bruce, he thought it was Bruce) and spun around and slammed the attacker in the chest with his open palm, causing it to fly over the next building and disappear from sight. Oops, he thought ruefully. He began to move towards the last remnants of battle, really just Steve and two alien guys at this point, when his eye catches on something shiny on the ground. Curious now, he moves closer before realizing it’s Steve’s shield. Oh. Oh ho ho. He smiles and picks it up off the ground with one hand, getting out his phone with the other. 

 

-

 

The video quality is extremely high quality, and it opens on a scene of destruction. Captain America is fighting with two aliens, shieldless, yet still holding the upper hand. Just then, from off screen a voice comes on. “This bitch empty!” Spiderman shouts as he runs on screen holding Captain America’s shield like a frisbee. “YEET!” he shouts and throws it directly at Captain America, who catches it without breaking a sweat. Using the shield, he knocks out the two remaining hostiles before turning to Spiderman and saying “I understood that reference.” The screen blacks out.

 

-

Liked by theavengers, iamironman, capt.rogers, and 55,763,879 others

 

* * *

 

 

find me on [tumblr](https://ms-snek.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i wasnt a fan of a lot of endgame stuff so I dont see myself writing anything endgame compliant for a while. Except if its about morgan because shes Baby and I love her.

**Author's Note:**

> anyway yeah if you like, come hmu over on tumblr i’m ms-snek over there and i love talking to people. i’ll also post updates over there
> 
> Feel free to ask me anything in the comments below for on tumblr! I love talking with people, and if you do that you’re helping me procrastinate my homework so it’s an all around win


End file.
